Want to keep your children safe? 

Even though the statistics of 1 in 4 girls and one in 6 boys will be sexually exploited by the age of 18 are staggering and scary – we do not want you to parent from a place of fear. Children from a very young age understand “good” & “evil.”

Think about cartoons and children’s movies, they always have a “Villain” and a “Hero.” We don’t have to scare our children to keep them safe. We have to talk with our children,teach them they have the right to be safe, to use their voice and let them know you are always there for them. That is the  best way to keeping our kids safe and empowered! 

Stop telling your children “don’t tattle.” Instead teach them the difference between tattling and reporting.

Tattling is when you go to a grown up, just to get the other person in trouble. Reporting is going to a grown up when ever it comes to the safety of yourself or the safety of a friend.

Every time your children come to you to tell you something – ask “Are you tattling or reporting?” If they are reporting….sit down, turn off your phone, computer, or tv and look them in the eye, listen and tell them “great job reporting.”

Start this at a young age and see reporting unsafe situations to you become a habit. Imagine you start this when your child is 3…it becomes a habit….Now they are 16 and with friends who are drinking. You are the parent they are going to call, because they have been in the habit of reporting unsafe situations to you since they were little.

The safest and smartest children are those that know they can come to their grown ups and share anything with them.

Yesterday we talked about “adult strangers” and how to keep your children safe. We shared information about strangers as most parents teach their children “stranger danger.” The reality is that 90% of the time your child is harmed it is by someone they know and 68% of the time they are harmed by a family member.

Your tip of the day: Talk with your children that they always have the right to say “NO” to an adult that makes them feel confused, unsafe, uncomfortable, and scared. Just because it’s an adult does not mean “blind obedience.”

Tell your children, “Your Body is Special and Belongs To You!” Start talking to your children at a young age and often about their bodies and empower them that they get to decide if they want to hug, touch or kiss…even you! Empowering your children that their bodies are special and belongs to them is a gift you give your children for a life time. It will help them in many safety situations.

If you want more infomation on how to talk with your children about their personal safety: our award winning children’s safety book, “My Body is Special and Belongs To ME!” amazing book for children and a section in the back for adults. www.kidsafefoundation.org/products

Please teach your children that adults they do not know should never ask them for help. Adults should ask other adults for help.

So if an adult asks your children for help (finding their lost puppy, needing directions or anything else) they have the right to say “NO” to that adult and Run and Report to you.

Children need to know they have a voice – and it is our role as parents to teach them how to use it.  You are probably saying to yourself, “My child knows how to say “NO” just fine.” But will they say “NO” when they need to keep themselves safe?

Role Play with your children various “What if” scenarios and teach them how to use their voice in an assertive manner. Teaching your child they have the right to say “NO” to anything that makes them uncomfortable, confused, weird, scared or unsafe (even from someone they know and love) will empower them and can help them with many safety situations throughout their life.

Warning Signs of Grooming

Be Aware of any adult who:

• Wants to spend time with children alone

• Wants to spend more time with your child than you do

• Is giving gifts or money to a child & is always offering to

   babysit

• Is using inappropriate language 

• Is allowing the child to get away with inappropriate

   behavior

• Is trying to tickle, wrestle, hold, hug or kiss a child

   (especially when the child does not want to be touched)

• Talks to a child about problems that would normally be

   discussed with adults

• Invades the child’s privacy 

Do you know what the term “Grooming” means?

“Grooming” is the name of the process that a Child Sexual Abuse Offender uses to build trust and gain access to your child to abuse them. The process they use is calculating and can take a day, a week, a month or years.

Stages of Grooming:

Stage 1: Friendship & Trust

Stage 2: Gifts & Rewards

Stage 3: Secrets & Threats

Stage 4: Abuse begins

Often adult survivors report that they can’t even pinpoint when the abuse started when they were a child, as the offender was so savvy, confusing and desensitized them to their touch. 

Be on the look out this week as we share more information about each stage of the grooming process.

Want your children to tell you about any situation that they feel unsafe, confused or uncomfortable?

Tell your child know that you will always believe them and praise them when they report any unsafe situations to you!

·         Who will be watching the children?

·         Do you have older children and will they or their

           friends be present?

·         Do you have a gun in your house?

·         What safety rules do you have in your house?

·         Will you be staying at your house?

           What is the plan?

·         Is the TV and internet use monitored?

·         What are the sleeping arrangements?

Please don’t be embarrassed to ask any adult watching your children the above questions. You are the first line of protection in your child’s safety. Your children need to depend on you to ask those difficult questions and listen to your instincts. Don’t be afraid to say “no,” change plans or share your discomfort with how the adult in charge answers your safety questions. If you are not putting the safety of your children at the forefront of your mind, why would you assume anyone else will?